"When we are able to know the Self, all else is known." Bhagavad-Gita
I begin this blog in the midst of change as Lori needs to move away from teaching to attend to other priorities. This is a shift that has been gaining importance over the last year, and, despite the wonderful momentum we have created as a team, it is necessary that we shift. But the shift of responsibility to me comes with a host of feelings. There is fear that I can't do this by myself. There is aversion saying I don't want to do this by myself. There is attachment to what is now working and to wanting it to stay exactly as it is.
But there is also faith that we can both move successfully through this change. There is wisdom in knowing that none of this truly matters; what does matter is so much more important. We know this, and yet I fight against the change as if that is the object of my suffering. This fighting instinct pulls me away from my inner self, it pulls me away from what I know deep inside. It tells me to change everything, perhaps to walk away or to start over. To reject what is here in front of me. But I see what is in front of me as full of value, and it is value that Lori and I created together. It is value I wish to honor, though I'm still unsure how to do that.
With change, there are two types that come to mind: the change that we cause and the change that is thrust upon us. I find I am a lot more comfortable with change I create. I am ready for it, I have processed through it, and it all makes sense. When change is placed in my lap, it feels different. But the way to work through it is the same: turn inward and find what, in this exact moment, is truly important. I must let change be the opening it has created in my world. There is always a next step that comes from this understanding.
Change is the only constant we will ever have. And this path is the true path because it is the path we are on.